The house is clean and tidy, not an item out of place or dirt smudge on a door. The school age children are all sitting diligently engaged in a hands on cross curricular project. The littles are laughing and giggling surrounded by a neat pile of wooden blocks and mom. Mom is able to sit enjoying every moment with her hot cup of coffee because before the children arose for the day the household chores were complete [including the laundry that has been washed, folded and put away], cookies for dessert tonight were out to cool and she’s already completed all of the volunteer work she agreed to do for church las week. Not only that, but there are candles burning or a diffuser running and dinner is sending up a wonderful smell as it simmers in the crock pot.
If this is your house, more power to you Wonder Woman! It surely isn’t mine and I’m confident that for most if not all of you reading this, it isn’t your house either. Let’s be real.
While the scenario above is far from our realities, does being a homeschool mom automatically mean your life is a hot mess? No way. I’d venture to say though that the hot mess mom label is one that many homeschool moms wear as a “badge of honor.” If you can’t be Wonder Woman and do ALL the things, you might as well not do any of them. I’m here to tell you that hot mess mom culture is a cop out and a lie. Let’s take the mask off Wonder Woman and put Hot Mess Mom in her place. Let’s live a life in the middle – a life filled with joy and authenticity.
Living a life full of joy and authenticity comes down to knowing your priorities. Plain and simple. Did you know that you can choose what your day looks like? Did you know that you are in control of your day and your things? Crazy idea, right? Though in our heads we know this to be true, we don’t live it out. We allow our circumstances to control us. We allow our stuff to get in our way. We choose not to live our priorities because we are so busy living out someone else’s.
Do you even know what your priorities are? Can you name them without hesitating? Whether you have to think or can just rattle them off, stop here and write down your top three or four, I’ll wait . . .
Need more time, okay keep going . . .
Got it? Good. Now, it’s time to live like the things on your list are your priorities. Is having a perfect house on your list? No? Then keep things picked up and quit worrying about the baseboards. Is healthy food choices on your list? Yes? Then make sure meal planning and food preparation fit into your days. No excuses. Is having an awesome relationship with those in your immediate family on your list? Yes? Take the time to cultivate those relationships with conversations and time. Put down your phone and be present. Is exercise on your list? No. Then quit feeling guilty about not going to the gym.
It’s time to get things done in alignment with these priorities. It’s time to quit giving all your time and energy to things that fall way down the priority list. As you start to really put time and effort into living in alignment to your priorities, you’ll find that things are lighter, easier you feel better about what is getting accomplished and less annoyed by what isn’t.
This all sounds great but how do you start?
1. Write out your priorities. [This step should already be finished unless you cheated.]
2. Dream up what a day accomplishing these priorities would look like.
3. Take one tiny step to make your tomorrow look more like your dream.
4. Repeat step three over and over again adding new tiny steps over and over again.
Here’s where Wonder Woman is unmasked. You’ll never reach perfect and your neighbor who seems to have it all together, really doesn’t have things as perfect as they look. While she may be further along in her journey or may “get more done,” she is still somewhere between Wonder Woman and “Hot Mess Mom” she is still working to make things better.
Let’s all keep things smart. Let’s all keep things simple. Let’s all keep things authentically between Wonder Woman and Hot Mess Mom.